Who says cabled handspun isn't sexy?

I may be up to my eyeballs in programming that would take my husband fifteen minutes, tops, yet takes me two freaking weeks of tearing my hair out, but that doesn't mean I haven't been working off the stress with a little superlative procrastination effort therapeutic creativity....

I can't show you the first effort, because it is for my Secret Pal. It's also (gasp) crocheted. Using a steel crochet hook. Yes, I admit it—in a former life, I made lace doilies using thread and a wicked tiny steel hook. This is perhaps why I won't make a circular shawl, ever. No offense to people who love circular shawls, because some people look fabulously elegant in them, and their beauty is certainly not to be argued. I don't look fabulously elegant in them. In fact, I look like my great-aunt's lowboy bureau, minus the dust.

I'll show the Secret Pal gift later when the big reveal is made (in October, I think...and by that time I'll have a lot to show because I've promised myself that something handmade will go into each Secret Pal package).

Meanwhile, I promised to show you the white bunny, made from handspun 2-ply, once I got the time to spin up the yarn for the ears. Thanks to my finely-honed procrastination talents need for a little study relief, here are the knitted-up efforts of yarn created from Stephanie's wool, a great little tigerwood spindle, and my fabulous fuck-you-bracelet plying technique (also known as the Uptight Woman's Andean Bracelet). Note: Please, spinners, if you try Andean plying, don't go tight. It hurts, you end up flipping the bird to perfectly nice people without realising you're doing it, and then you spend the next half hour wondering why in hell anyone thought this was a good idea as you struggle to save your soon-to-require-amputation middle finger):

I give you Lana the Aran Bunny.
Clearly, Andean plying, when it works,
gives a beautiful, knittable result.

Lana is a bit of a glamour girl. She is made from 2-ply merino, and yes, even her ears are cabled. Her sleep-mask (because if you're going to spend your nights in luxury hotel rooms, you need a sleep mask) hides the fact that her face sports a cable, too, sloping down to her lightly rouged, handspun merino nose.

Lana is ready for her model shot. Let me tell you,
blocking a sleep mask for a bunny is not easy.
And the fitting session for the underwear...Ouch.

The SyndiCate is going to kill me for this, but Lana is wearing "Better Llama Underwear." It matches her sleep mask. Of course. And they are both trimmed in handspun red merino...the sleep mask in singles, the underwear in 2-ply. Cate, when you said you knew I'd make something absolutely fabulous from the llama, little did you know.... Don't worry, darling, I only used a little of it. Bunny underwear doesn't take much yarn, you know. Ooookay, maybe you don't know. But look, the bunny needed "Better Underwear" and you have to admit, llama is just about as better as it gets...In any case, I have plenty of llama fiber left to make myself something a bit less bizarre. Honest. I promise to behave myself when the wheel arrives. Higher production is not going to mean more bunnies. Or even more underwear. Really.

Man, I hope she buys that....

Seriously, I have the need for speed if I'm ever going to spin enough of anything to make myself something larger than the palm of my hand. I deeply want a scarf out of this black llama, because whatever I make out of it has to go near the skin. It's just incredible. If you were here, you'd want to go roll around in the llama, trust me.

Regarding smaller llama garments, it just occurred to me that some of you may be wondering what I did about the tail problem. The bunny's tail problem, not mine. My tail problem requires less wine and an exercise program, and I don't want to discuss the failure of said plan. Suffice it to say that compiling a rectangle and jumping up and down in sneakers drinking bottled water and hoping the hell that no one can see you making such an ass of yourself in the name of beauty are not compatible. But I'll be happy to tell you how I dealt with the bunny tail problem. Hell, I'll just show you:

It feels truly odd, taking a shot of the back end
of a bunny thong. Bind-off, cast-on, by the way.
Ask me how I know a bunny tail won't fit through a yarnover.

Lest you think that I am the most ridiculous human being on the face of the earth, destined to never knit a serious item of clothing ever again, let me tell you what I learned from this particular bunny-knitting experience. First, I learned how to do a cable-needleless cable. For this, my knitting group will be thankful. I can't tell you how many times I've embarrassed myself and everyone around me by publicly searching my cleavage for a lost cable needle. I won't promise to never use a cable needle again, but I'm seriously considering this needleless technique as a keeper. And if you think an underwire gone haywire hurts, just you try losing a cable needle in there....

Second, I learned how to Andean-ply. It's magic, if you can manage to not hurt yourself or test your ability to offend everyone around you. I'll definitely do it again, but I'll have a glass of wine first. Shut up. I told you my tail problem was hopeless.

Third, I learned that handspun singles bias like crazy. This necessitated heavy blocking of the llama mask and underwear. A painful process, to say the least. This also made me think that if I'm going to make myself something out of the llama, I'd better consider plying those singles, because plying balances everything out beautifully. I'm so pleased with the way the white merino knitted up, I'm practically delirious. Duh. I knitted a bunny thong. Clearly, I've gone beyond delirious.

I've learned a lot about how handspun behaves, and I've also learned that I am so ready for that wheel. Otherwise, I'll be doomed to a life of bunny-knitting, because I'm just not fast enough with a spindle. Mind you, the lowering of the speed factor does do wonders for my stress level. I'm telling you, there is nothing so soothing as watching the spindle plus the twist of the singles practically ply themselves, and knowing that the result is going to knit up into something gorgeous.

And pardon me for saying so, but I think Lana is rather gorgeous. And I'm hoping her recipient does, too. At the very least, said recipient can now say that she has better underwear.

I think I need a vacation.

Just look at what the stress has done to me....

September 5, 2005 3:08 PM  | Permalink  | Comments (39)  | Print