Heads Behaving Badly

Well, I'm home, but it ain't over. The surgeons went in, but they couldn't make the fix and beat a hasty retreat. The risks ended up being too high.

Before I say anything about that, however, I want to make sure I thank each and every person who commented, sent words of love and support, and otherwise made me and my family feel far less alone. This situation is extremely shitty, for sure, but it is made far better by having people like you around to help us get through this. I will try to e-mail you all individually, but please understand that if I don't manage it, it's not because I don't appreciate your support. It's only because I'm a bit of a wreck.

Thank goodness I did not lose the impulse to knit. In fact, I discovered that 2 x 2 black rib is so incredibly mindless that I can read a book on UNIX and understand what I'm reading as I am sitting in a hospital bed stuck full of unmentionables, waiting to be rolled down the hall to surgery, all the while knitting 2 x 2 black rib. Who knew?

And look, arbor lace! (I know...arbor lace is bloody simple, this is not...uh...brain surgery...but look! arbor lace!)

The first step of the Frankentank has been accomplished. Okay, so it's hard to tell it's really lacy...because it's not blocked. Trust me, it's lacy.

I include this wee little bit of progress here not because it is so stunningly gorgeous but because I wanted to give at least a little knitting content (anaesthesia and panic are pretty much all I've been experiencing these past few days, and I'd really rather knit). The difficulty is not yet over, so I plan to knit like crazy through it. Otherwise I'm going to lose my cool.

And now, the bad news. This, unfortunately, has also not been blocked:

The medical system, they are highly advanced in their diagnostic assessments, no? Labeling courtesy of us.

The less-invasive surgery was not do-able without the possibility of me going blind in the left eye. You can see from the above highly advanced 2D imaging system that the aneurysm is, indeed, quite close to my eye. And we really didn't want that...If I ever expect to navigate two-handed fair isle, having only one eye is not an option. So we have some decisions to make, because the only way to shut this thing down is to clip it. That's major, invasive surgery via the head. We don't want to gross anyone out on the front page here, so if you really want to know what was supposed to happen, what didn't happen, and what probably will happen if I can gather my courage, we have put together a bit of educational information for you here. A little Aneurysm 101, if you will.

Meanwhile, thank all of you again, so much, for being here for me. And if the docs could see their way to making me look like this, well, then, I might stop complaining....

Now that's gotta hurt....

May 20, 2005 4:35 PM  | Permalink  | Comments (26)  | Print